who are you doug?

looks like asking online for help has paid off. apparently doug has been posting on forums as well and someone eventually found the link. he seems real. i read his posts. but i don't understand why he doesn't just contact me directly on the forums. i guess he's probably wondering the same thing. i have a lot more at stake here to lose, doug. i have my safety, privacy and sanity to think about. what if he starts to really screw with my mind in some monstrous way? obviously he already has a hold on me... on top of that, some people on the forums have actually taken time to prove that i'm a fake. now that i didn't expect... i respect people's right to opinions but that was just crazy. i want to get on with life, instead of sitting for hours in a daze, curled up with my 3 worried cats around me. my home has been shrouded in darkness for weeks now, i have not opened the curtains since receiving the letter. but i sense that there will be a reprieve soon. there has to be. i can't feel any lower than this.

i've never blogged before until now. and i've never ventured into forums to ask for help. it's strange and heartwarming reading the different replies i get, there's so much genuine concern there for my safety, and advice... all from people i don't even know. i guess it's befitting that since i don't know the letter writer who seems so sure of his vision, that i turn to people i don't know for a perspective on what to do with it. i've hardly slept since i experienced my own deja vu moment recently. i'm absolutely convinced now that doug is real. and what he saw in his vision is real. i hope that by sending the letter and my thoughts into cyberspace, i can find my way to doug, and speak to him personally. i need to do this. i need to physically meet doug to put an end to my restless mind. please, if any of you finds the handwriting in the letter familiar, i need you to tell me.

i've just returned from a short trip to bangkok to attend marieke's exhibition, and try as a might, i can't help but have goosebumps even when i'm showering! i also had to pretend that i can't swim, and spend the afternoon sitting on a deck chair by the hotel pool, instead of frolicking in there like the rest of my normal friends. IT'S RIDICULOUS!!! i had to say no to a visit to a spa because i was worried about the jacuzzi, i mean, i came across as a BORING FART who just mumbled some stupid excuse each time they wanted to do something fun! damn this doug. he's ruined my life. what am i going to do???

alan, you're right it's a joke. and to fully appreciate how plain dumb it is, here's the letter in full: claire, i've been arguing with myself about sending this. but i realise i have nothing to lose. if this letter doesn't get to you, it cost me nothing byt a stamp. but if you do receive this letter, it means my vision was true: that's how i got your address. a few days back i had a vision of a girl in trounlg. i felt if this girl was someone i'd known for a while but i couldn't recell who she is (or was) as i don't remember meeting her before. weird, i know. but even weirder still, when i was flipping through magazine i had the nost intense feeling of deja vu when i saw a photo of a girl - i think it's you. i know this sounds crazy but this is freaking me out as much as i guess you are feeling right now. what i'm about to try and tell you sounds unbelievable even to me but this feeling of dread and urgency is just too strong to ignore. in my vision, i saw the girl in the photo - you - being involved in an accident. you were in your home, getting ready to go somewhere. what i want you to really take note of is that on your way to wherever you were going, i saw you involved in a very bad accident. it had something to do with water, but i can't - couldn't - see the details. claire, regardless of whether you believe me or not, please be very careful around water! i don't want you to think i'm a stalker or anything so i'm not asking for a reply or anything and not trying to prove i know you. i don't think i know you, i just feel i do and i want you to be careful. should nothing happen, please ignoere this, dump it into the trash and forget anout it. i really hope nothing happens (happened?) and i was just hallucinating. please be very careful! doug god alan WHAT A MORONIC MORON!!!! it's almost like he craftily wrote this letter so that he'll sound sane and make me believe i'm going to die of some water related crap! but. oh. sigh. haven't you had deja vu before?

pre_mo_ni_tion [pree-muh-nish-uhn, prem-uh-] –noun 1. a feeling of anticipation of or anxiety over a future event; presentiment: He had a vague premonition of danger. 2. a forewarning. dé_jà vu [dey-zhah voo, vyoo; Fr. dey-zha vy] 1. Psychology. the illusion of having previously experienced something actually being encountered for the first time. 2. disagreeable familiarity or sameness: The new television season had a sense of déjà vu about it—the same old plots and characters with new names. hal·lu·ci·na·tion (h-ls-nshn) 1. Perception of visual, auditory, tactile, olfactory, or gustatory experiences without an external stimulus and with a compelling sense of their reality, usually resulting from a mental disorder or as a response to a drug. 2. The objects or events so perceived. A FALSE OR MISTAKEN IDEA; A DELUSION. wa_ter [waw-ter, wot-er] –noun 1. a transparent, odorless, tasteless liquid, a compound of hydrogen and oxygen, H2O, freezing at 32°F or 0°C and boiling at 212°F or 100°C, that in a more or less impure state constitutes rain, oceans, lakes, rivers, etc.: it contains 11.188 percent hydrogen and 88.812 percent oxygen, by weight. 2. a special form or variety of this liquid, as rain. 3. Often, waters. this liquid in an impure state as obtained from a mineral spring: Last year we went to Marienbad for the waters. 4. the liquid content of a river, inlet, etc., with reference to its relative height, esp. as dependent on tide: a difference of 20 feet between high and low water. 5. the surface of a stream, river, lake, ocean, etc.: above, below, or on the water. 6. waters, a. flowing water, or water moving in waves: The river's mighty waters. b. the sea or seas bordering a particular country or continent or located in a particular part of the world: We left San Diego and sailed south for Mexican waters. 7. a liquid solution or preparation, esp. one used for cosmetic purposes: lavender water; lemon water. 8. Often, waters. Medicine/Medical. a. amniotic fluid. b. the bag of waters; amnion: Her water broke at 2 a.m. 9. any of various solutions of volatile or gaseous substances in water: ammonia water. 10. any liquid or aqueous organic secretion, exudation, humor, or the like, as tears, perspiration, or urine. 11. Finance. fictitious assets or the inflated values they give to the stock of a corporation. 12. a wavy, lustrous pattern or marking, as on silk fabrics or metal surfaces. 13. (formerly) the degree of transparency and brilliancy of a diamond or other precious stone. 14. take water, (of a boat) to allow water to enter through leaks or portholes or over the side.